Durlacher, Jessica "The Conscience"

Durlacher, Jessica "The Conscience" [Dutch: Het Geweten] - 1998

A university story. Edna meets Samuel. She likes him but he appears condescending. They become friends, meet wherever students meet, go to parties, go sailing. However, there is more to them, a common past. They are both Jews and both their fathers were deported to Auschwitz. A theme much liked by Dutch writers. A theme I usually like a lot but most Dutch writers usually overdo it. However, this takes the subject to the next generation, also very realistic, that's a big topic in the Netherlands. A lot of times, I don't like this kind of writing but Jessica Durlacher has a great way of putting it, talking about feelings rather than lingering too much on the history. I quite liked it. Certainly due to the fine penmanship of this author.

(I read this book in the original Dutch.)

Description (translated):

"The debut novel of Dutch author Jessica Durlacher, born in 1961, on a subject that is not unknown in literature: love and its difficulties. But she manages to add a new variant to the familiar.

Edna made the acquaintance of Samuel when she started university at the age of eighteen. She is immediately taken with him and knows: this one or no one. Samuel is extravagant, condescending and extremely serene. The two approach each other gropingly, meet at parties for freshmen or go sailing together. Just talking is not a common thing in their relationship. About what? 'The present is already complicated enough. And we don't talk so much because we feel so exactly what is going on in the other, actually.' It is precisely on this 'actually' that all difficulties depend.

Their friendship is underpinned, Edna calls it her 'Underlife' or 'the life beneath our everyday life', with the story of her fathers, who knew each other from the time of the war. Both are Jews and were deported from Germany to Auschwitz.

Edna and Samuel hang like marionettes by silk threads that their fathers with their fears of persecution have still not cut.

Edna finally separates from Samuel, has other men, and yet returns to him. It takes a long time before she finds herself and realizes what she wants for herself. Whereby the sad end of the story is clear from the start - Samuel dies. But why does their love have to end fatally?"