Koch, Herman "The Dinner"

Koch, Herman "The Dinner" (Dutch: Het Diner) - 2009

Our latest book club read, a story about two couples going for dinner but everything seems to go wrong.

While this is a good book to discuss, I didn't actually enjoy it a lot. I didn't like any of the characters, well, I felt a little sorry for the wives but no, I really didn't like any of them. They were not just shallow, they were calculating, only out for their own gain. Another member said she got so angry but we did agree that it was a good book to talk about.

I enjoyed the description of the waiter, of the whole "star restaurant". I have been to a few restaurants like that myself where you seem to pay for the whole plate and therefore don't get much on it ... but everything is somehow "special". I rather go to a nice little restaurant that still cooks everything from fresh ingredients but also makes sure their customers don't leave their place with a hollow stomach.

I found the characters racist or fascist or whatever you might call people who just dislike someone for having less money than they do, Just the type of people I would not want to call my friends. Whatever happens, I don't want to spoil it for anyone like this, I would not do "anything" for my children out of love, I would like to keep them out of trouble before something happens.

The question is, do we want to live in a society determined by these kind of people?

The book has been made into a movie. I'm not sure whether I want to watch it.

We discussed this in our international book club in November 2017 and in our international online book club in February 2026.

Here are the comments from the latest discussion:

• The conversation was both intense and thought-provoking.
• Overall, we agreed that the novel is fantastically written, with a strong narrative flow that made it hard to put down. The tension builds subtly but very intensely, and the author manages to break classical plot structure while smoothly changing the reader’s opinion of the characters as the story unfolds. Even though most of us loved the book, we also agreed that we did not actually like any of the characters, and it felt as if the author himself had no favorites.
• Many readers rated the book highly (4/5 or 5/5), although a few gave it 3/5 because of how disturbing and morally bleak the story is. Koch was a new author for most of us, and we felt we likely would not have discovered this book without the group. Some members had also seen film adaptations of the story, including the 2017 film adaptation, the Dutch film Het Diner (2013), and the Italian adaptation I nostri ragazzi (2014). A few readers enjoyed the novel so much that they immediately added more of Koch’s works to their reading lists, especially "Summer House with Swimming Pool" (Zomerhuis met zwembad).
• One of the main topics of discussion was morality and how the book challenges our moral perception. We talked about attitudes toward homeless people, minorities, and other disadvantaged groups, both in Finland and globally. The story made us question what justice really means: is justice only valid when it comes through formal punishment and trial? We also discussed how society assigns value to victims. When the victim is a homeless person with no family or close social circle, the public may be briefly horrified but quickly moves on to other news. If no one is left to mourn or demand accountability, we wondered whether punishment still truly feels like justice, or if it becomes more of a symbolic act for society’s conscience.
• Another major theme was parenting: the tension between a parent’s protective instinct and the idea that love can also mean setting boundaries. The book raised difficult questions about how far a parent is willing to go to protect their child’s future and whether protection can become moral complicity.
• We also discussed the setting of the restaurant as a kind of stage. The ritual of dining out, the polite structure of courses, and the presence of waiters and other diners create a façade of civility that contrasts sharply with the disturbing subject matter being discussed. This theatrical atmosphere influences how we perceive the characters and makes their reactions, manners, and treatment of others even more revealing as the evening progresses.
• Character analysis sparked especially long discussions. At first, many of us were inclined to judge the well-known politician Serge based on the narrator’s framing. Babette came across as a socialite more concerned with maintaining appearances than with moral responsibility. Claire surprised many readers with her coldness and the extreme lengths she was willing to go to in order to protect her child’s future. Meanwhile, the narrator Paul gradually revealed himself to be unreliable, possibly suffering from a serious mental disorder he fears may have been passed on to his son, Michel. As the story progressed, we began to question his version of events: was he imagining certain horrific thoughts and actions, or was he in fact a psychopath? We also reflected on how his mindset may have shaped Michel’s worldview and actions.
• We appreciated how the novel portrays multiple ways of perceiving and accepting the world through a single, subjective narrator, and how skillfully it shifts our sympathies without us even noticing at first.
• The book also contains several literary and moral references. It alludes to works such as "Deliverance" by James Dickey (which we are reading next month) and echoes many famous biblical morality stories, especially themes of guilt, judgment, and moral responsibility, such as the story of Cain and Abel and broader biblical discussions of sin, hypocrisy, and justice.
• Finally, we compared "The Dinner" to other books with similar moral dilemmas. Titles mentioned included Thomas Mann’s "Death in Venice", Albert Camus’ "The Stranger", and Chuck Palahniuk’s "Fight Club" (particularly in terms of unreliable narration and distorted moral reasoning) and American Psycho.
• After discussing these themes, the conversation naturally shifted into a broader discussion about cults, the homeschooling of children, and Tara Westover’s memoir "Educated", and how its themes of upbringing, parental authority, and the shaping of a child’s worldview connect in interesting ways to the moral and familial dynamics explored in "The Dinner".
• So overall we had a very multifaceted discussion. 

Another member added:
"Imagine a world where serious wrongdoing is met with impunity, enabled by privilege, deceit, and loyalty. This is the degraded world of the family at the centre of The Dinner. Rather than bonds of love, there are bonds of cowardice and complicity. This is a fascinating tale, very well told. I found this book selection to be a timely, worthwhile read. Kiitos!"

From the back cover:

"A summer's evening in Amsterdam and two couples meet at a fashionable restaurant. Between mouthfuls of food and over the delicate scraping of cutlery, the conversation remains a gentle hum of politeness - the banality of work, the triviality of holidays.

But the empty words hide a terrible conflict and, with every forced smile and every new course, the knives are being sharpened... Each couple has a fifteen-year-old son. Together, the boys have committed a horrifying act, caught on camera, and their grainy images have been beamed into living rooms across the nation; despite a police manhunt, the boys remain unidentified - by everyone except their parents.

As the dinner reaches its culinary climax, the conversation finally touches on their children and, as civility and friendship disintegrate, each couple shows just how far they are prepared to go to protect those they love."