I love Geraldine Brooks. She writes great books, both novels and non-fiction. However, I am not sure I should have read this book now. My (younger) brother died after three years of battling a brain tumor. As soon as he was buried, his wife was diagnosed with liver cancer and she died nine weeks and a day after him. It wasn't a good time to read about someone else's grief.
Or was it? Geraldine Brooks has a great way of trying to come to terms with the sudden death of her husband and she gives a lot of tips along the way. Not necessarily all practical one though there is one toward the end. She recommends to make a list and call it "Your Life: How It Works" and write down all the little things you do without anyone noticing. Where are certain keys kept? Where do you find passwords? Insurance documents? Etc. etc.
The book is both sad and devastating as well as comforting. At least I thought so. The author does give us hope, though.
Some books she recommends on the same topic, I have read one of them:
Alexander, Elizabeth "The Light of the World"
Didion, Joan "The Year of Magical Thinking"
Oates, Joyce Carol "A Widow's Story" - 2011
From the back cover:
"It was Memorial Day, 2019, when Geraldine Brooks received news that her husband, Tony Horwitz, had collapsed and died, far from home, in the middle of his own book tour. The complex tasks required in the face of such a sudden death left her no time to properly grieve for him.
Three years later, still feeling broken and bereft, she booked a flight to remote Flinders island off the coast of Tasmania. There, she pondered the ways other cultures deal with mourning and finally seized the time and space she needed for her own grief. Alone on a rugged stretch of coast, she revisited a 35-year marriage filled with risk, adventure, humour and love.
A spare and moving memoir that join sthe classics of the genre, Memorial Days is a portrait of a larger-than-life love affair and a reckoning with the inevitability of loss."
Oh Marianne, I am so sorry for your losses!! That is awful. I am glad that the book gave you hope.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for that, Cindy. Yes, we are having a hard time.
DeleteI love Geraldine Brooks as well. This was a book I had put off reading because of the grief but I liked it very much. One of my favorite memoirs this year.
ReplyDeleteThat is so very sad about your brother and his wife and I see why you may not have wanted to read Memorial. It was a wonderful tribute to her husband though. Also a form of therapy to share her thoughts.
I totally understand, Tina. I had earmarked the book and then thought, maybe it's not the right time. But I then grabbed it anyway and am quite glad I did. It was very helpful.
DeleteSounds like another interesting book by her. Hopefully, also a certain comfort in your sad circumstances.
ReplyDeleteIt definitely was, Lisbeth. I still need to read Horse which has gone on top of my wish list now.
DeleteI love Geraldine Brooks' writing. I saw this book title shortly after it was published. But after reading the summary, I just couldn't find it in me to read it. The topic was too sad for me.
ReplyDeleteIt is a sad topic, Lisa. But it is also very helpful.
DeleteI'm glad that 'Memorial Days' is hopeful.
DeleteMe, too, Lisa.
DeleteMy condolences on the loss of your brother and sister-in-law. I lost a brother and my sister within the past four years, and I am still grieving for them. I decided to pass on this book for the very reasons you describe. I remember reading Joan Didion's book, The Year of Magical Thinking, and it affected me for weeks.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I love the tip Brooks provided. My husband and I have been conscientiously making notes about our health, our house, our finances, etc as a reference book for our kids.
Thank, Jane. Yes, I thought I'd pass that on because it is so important we don't leave our loved ones not knowing where to find stuff.
DeleteAnd I don't think the grief ever ends. There are moments when you seem to "forget" but then it hits you even more shortly after. I lost my parents ten and eleven years ago, still not over it.